sometimes i don’t like knowing that i can do anything with my life. if i could chose one place in the world to be, it would be chicago with all of my family. but i’m in oregon what am i doing? should i stay here? should i go back to the bay area ? should i live all the way for god ? or just kind of for god ? i hate knowing that depending on what i choose, my life will turn out completely different. if i stay here in portland i already have people i know. but do i really want this to be my life ? i have always loved san francisco. so why am i not there ? because i wanted something new. but now that i have something new i’m too afraid of it.
i have good friends here now but what if i get home sick ? why do i even get homesick ? i go home and find there is nothing for me. i guess it’s just the longing of what i used to know. everything is so uncertain and some times it’s exciting but sometimes its just plain terrifying.
i wanted this. i wanted something new and fought and am still fighting to stay here. but do i want to live here my whole life ? or do i want to end up where i’m from ?
how can i know ? but i know i can always go back. that is comforting. but if i wait too long will there even be anything for me there ? everything is very confusing and i wish it wasnt
basically this entire text post can be translated as
fjdposifajpsoifjapsoifjpasoifjaspofijaspoifjasofljhasdk;fhasdflsdahjfsdlfjsk
that is how i’m feeling
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i have this problem talking to guys its called ugly
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reality of the situation
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